2009-11-06 :: 6:40 p.m.
The Psych Ward at St Mary's Good Samaritan Hospital In Centralia, Illinois

My locked psych ward was quite a long distance away. Husband made the long ass drive there and back to visit me every night of my 8 day, thank you, good man.

St Mary's Good Samaritan Hospital in Centralia, Illinois. Home of James Brady from the Reagan years, craphole of a town, craphole of a hospital. The pdoc was an arrogant man, I know I should not have but I lied about not feeling suicidal anymore so I could leave.

The only common room blared 'COPS' or NASCAR all day. When no one was in there a couple of times, I took my book, muted the tv to read because my (sweet, young, sad) room mate told me 'they penalize you for staying in your room, make you stay longer.' The 2 patients I came to think of as 'the bullies in the ward' came in each time w/in seconds of my tv muting, 'DON'T YOU LIKE 'COPS?' 'DON'YT YOU LIKE NASCAR?' and cranked the tv even louder.

I asked the pdoc politely if perhaps one of the many locked, empty conference type rooms (totally safety proofed) might be opened during the day for a few hours 'for patients who wanted to chat w/out the loud tv, perhaps read.' He replied, 'Well, Kim, I am so sorry 'Club St. Mary's is not to your liking but no.'

Someone had taken a dump in the communal shower when I went to use it. Asked one of the nurses for cleaning supplies, she told me 'just take some toilet paper and toss the turd in the can.'

The only therapy sessions my entire stay consisted of:

1. one of the NURSES passing around what looked like an Easter basket w/'Christian' words folded on a piece of paper in it. We were to each pick one and say what that word meant to us. My word was 'Faith.' I really wanted to reply, 'Hill' but I quickly learned humor was not got nor appreciated there.

2. Another NURSE passing out a freaking WORDSEARCH puzzle w/therapeutic type words to find. No discussion of what words even meant.

3. Once again, a NURSE putting an old 'Guess the country music star from the clues' video in she found at Walmart for .99 cents. she was very proud of this discovery, mentioned it 4 times so I'm including this detail as a shout out because she was one of the two compassionate, helpful staff there, was kind enough to lend me her cell phone for 15 minutes, 'Don't tell anyone!' The only communication out was a public phone in the hall where we were not allowed to make out going calls. When a loved one called, it was up to a patient to answer. It was right by the nurses station but the nurses blithely ignored the ringing, the patient was supposed to yell the name of which ever patient the call was out. They'd then toss the receiver in the nearby drinking fountain basin. If you didn't hear the yell, tough luck.

The other compassionate staff member? The sweet, sweet, elderly housekeeping lady who found me crying on my bed one afternoon and took the time to talk w/me. She gave me a huge hug when I left, the only person to say goodbye.

4. A childlike 'craft therapy' hour, consisting of popsicle sticks, glitter and foam stick on hearts, stars, etc ran by another NURSE.

I'm capitalizing nurse because I never saw any therapists there except for the brief, rushed daily visit w/the pdoc. I was told 'the therapist was on vacation.'

The pompous pdoc in increased my Lithium while I was there. I had recently been diagnosed w/bipolar I. A few days after my release, my real pdoc discovered I had Lithium Toxicity, that accounted for my vomiting, bone pain (I kept accusing long suffering, patient husband of feeding me glass. I know, makes no sense.), thinking and screaming my feet fell off my body one horrid night, perhaps even my suicide attempt.

Sorry this is so TL;DR but my stay was so unhelpful, horrendous, I'm venting uncontrollably. My real pdoc and the therapists on his staff apologized profusely about the place, 'It's the only one w/in 200 miles' and asked me if I would be so kind to write a letter, a formal complaint (I gladly did.) because his practice is affiliated w/their hospital and the hospital treats this (excellent) branch like 'an unloved step child' as one of the therapists put it.

Once again,sorry about this long, negative post.