2006-05-29 :: 10:27 a.m.
Appalling Childhood Memories

My friend Julie's (yes, Julie) family was so weird and ''squeaky clean' and they looked down on me because my parents were divorced, dysfunctional, etc.

Most of my appalled memories come from her family.

Julie and I were playing in her room, 8 years old. Her 6 year old brother Eric kept bothering us. We were brats, wrestled him to the ground, tied his hands w/her yarn and were trying to shove him in the closet. Stupid kid rough housing. Her high school coach dad burst in to the room and angrily yelled, ''ARE YOU KIDS EXPERIMENTING W/SEX?''

Freak.

I went to Wisconsin for a few days w/them to their cabin. Their Lassie dog Bonnie was ''in heat'' Yuck. The whole family kept saying, ''Keep Bonnie on the sheet in the car, on the couch, she's spotting, Bonnie's in heat!'' Julie kept showing me the spots of blood. Bonnie kept wanting to go out and Julie's mom said, all annoyed, ''Fine! Go out and be RAPED!''

Julie and her brother kept demanding, ''what's rape? what's rape?'' I had never heard of it either. I knew it was weird because her mom said it. She said it was ''when a man robs a woman..'' Made no sense and was creepy.

They also served whole milk w/dinner. In plastic, chewed up cups. Once a spider was crawling in my cup.

All the neighborhood kids was going in their freezer to get these gross, home made popsicles. When I showed up, Julie told me to help myself. Her mom walked in from the store, caught me opening the freezer and taking the chewed up looking plastic (what did those people DO to their plastic containers?) popsicle and said, ''the NERVE of some people's children!'' I was mortified.

All the other kids had done it. Bitch!